20: Healing Your Relationship With Yourself

Relationship With Yourself

Steve Flansbaum is back on the show! Steve is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, NASM Certified Personal Trainer and has earned his MS in Professional Counseling and Theory.

Steve offers a workshop called “Thinking Your Way Into a Thinner Body” so if you would like to attend his workshop for free, or work with him one-on-one, please contact him by visiting: http://www.steveflansbaum.com/new-page/

In this podcast, Steve shares how our body image and our relationship with our body can easily be distorted by our mind. We think this is just a problem women have but men are just as prone to body dysmorphia. Looking in the mirror and obsessing over a flaw that isn’t there.  Men want to be taller with more muscles and as Steve points out, he gained 100lbs of muscle body building and when he looked in the mirror his mind could not let him see his accomplishment, only his believe that it wasn’t enough.

It will never be enough until you heal the relationship with yourself.

Steve shares that the relationship to our behavior needs to change. The language we use, the identity we form, around our problem is a good place to start.  You will stay, “This is my arm. I have an arm.” But when it comes to fat we say “I am fat”.  It has become that person’s identity.  If it’s their belief system they will always hold onto that problem and beat themselves up over that problem when they look in the mirror no matter how much weight they lose.

If you change your relationship to the problem in order to solve the problem.

Our habits are our continuous behaviors that result in our health.  If we want to make permanent health changes we need to start from within so we can affect our environment and our habits to align with our health goals.

Steve shares that this isn’t about beating yourself up or killing ourselves at the gym. Having understanding, compassion and love for yourself is one of his first steps.

If we would look at how we treat ourselves like how two people treat each other we would realize that we are in an abusive relationship with ourselves!

Here’s What You’ll Discover:

• How to begin to change your relationship you have with your body image
• Steps to forgiving and trusting yourself again
• How to make your choices be around your strengths so you have the most willpower you can
• Loving your life and living your passion

Health AH-HA Moment:

Exercise choice where we have it. Knowing where you do have a choice and avoiding environments where you know you will give into what you do not want to give into. This is one way you can nurture yourself and build trust with yourself again.

Said another way, if you had a close friend who was a recovering alcoholic you wouldn’t ask them to go to the liquor store with you, so why do you walk down the aisle at the grocery store that contains the foods you want to avoid and then beat yourself up when you put them in your cart. Or if you are trying to quit smoking, pay for your gas outside so you don’t give yourself the opportunity to be confronted at the cash register by the cigarettes for sale.

Take a step back and find where you do have willpower. If you don’t go down the aisle you won’t force yourself into that situation. Treat yourself with the same love and respect you would treat a friend.

Your Challenge:

Check out Steve’s website and give him a call. He can do Skype consultations and help you shift your internal and external environment to be in alignment with your health goals.

Resource:

http://www.steveflansbaum.com/

Books:

Adonis Complex by Harrison G. Pope – http://amzn.to/1SfVatg

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle – http://amzn.to/1SfVkkc

Core Performance- Mark Verstegen – http://amzn.to/1qZWuHX

Steve’s Music:

Like R&B? 

Check out Steve's alter ego “Stephen Patrick Grey” – www.spgrey.com