168: Feminine Sensuality And Sexuality

Passion As Prayer: Rediscovering Feminine Sensuality and Sexuality

Over the years, women have become stronger and capable of multi-tasking. But living in this fast-paced world can leave us feeling burned out. If you're looking for ways to reconnect with your feminine nature and recharge your sensuality and sexuality, look no further. My guest, Deonesea La Fey, is here to help you regain your inner radiance.

Getting Past A Trauma

Surviving several years of sexual molestation as a child, Deonesea La Fey realized in her early 20s that something was amiss back in those years. Hence, she went through several years of actually working on that trauma. And just like a Phoenix, Deonesea La Fey rose from the ashes.

“A part of my healing was that I already knew I was missing something. That empty feeling was from my early sexual experiences with boys and young men,” said Deonesea La Fey.

However, during her healing process, Deonesea La Fey encountered Tantra and Tantric teaching. Hence, she started to understand how her body locked the trauma in the tissues of her vagina, womb, and belly.

As Deonesea La Fey slowly found her path to healing, she likewise found her calling to help other women. Following her heart, she has been helping women find their spirituality and sexuality for a decade now.

Your Body Is A Temple

Deonesea La Fey's work is centered on women's spirituality and shifting their belief system to realize that our body is our temple. And because it is the “house” for our spirit, we must understand how to keep it whole.

Apparently, it is when we are complete, that we would know more how to give and likewise to receive. Deonesea La Fey says we become whole only when we understand our authentic inner self.

“When I reject some parts of myself or hate myself, I'm saying to Creator, ‘You didn't do a good job here,'” explains Deonesea La Fey. “Whereas if I embrace my whole being, I can experience so much love and appreciation for this body temple and all of its functions. I can become the source of my pleasure.”

Channeling Your Inner Self

True beauty radiates from within. But how do we achieve that? What is the essence of femininity? Deonesea La Fey helps women find the answers by helping them understand the dynamic of finding their inner selves through their sensual and sexual energies.

Apparently, learning how to breathe properly is an excellent way to tap our sensual and sexual energies. According to Deonesea La Fey, being able to do so not only taps our sexual and sensual energies but it also shifts our place in consciousness to realize that our senses are meant to give us the experiences of this life with joy.

“Breathing techniques help that energy move. Breathing is a major access point to our sensations, whereas the belly is our center power and creative center,” Deonesea La Fey explains. “It is our sense of how we relate to others and our access to power.”

War Between The Sexes

Society has long integrated into our thoughts that men and women can't entirely get along because our characteristics are poles apart. But in reality, women do have masculine traits, just as men have feminine qualities as well.

The essence of femininity is about getting softer and vulnerable. It is about finding power in vulnerability. In fact, Deonesea La Fey says women start building their feminine energy, hence becoming radiant and magnetizing to men. In effect, it gives men the opportunity to be masculine when they relate to a woman.

“All of that fighting disconnects us from our hearts and disconnects from the deeper, genuine needs of our beingness,” said Deonesea La Fey. “There are a lot of ways that both men and women can embody feminine and masculine traits. It's all about recognizing what our differences are.”

A man's sexuality is often related to fire. Hence, Deonesea La Fey says that a man's ‘fire' starts in his loins and grows up into his heart. A woman's arousal, on the other hand, starts from her mind and trickles down to her loins. When fire and water meet, it forms a steam. Hence, it's alchemy.

Success Stories

One of the biggest things Deonesea La Fey does with women is successfully developing their movement, particularly pelvic movement. She describes it as something like belly dancing but learning it in an organic way of moving. Deonesea La Fey says this helps women stir up the energy and get them circulating.

Deonesea La Fey apparently has taught numerous workshops using this particular form of movement in the West Coast here in the United States. She likewise has managed to teach the same workshops in other parts of the world as well.

Recalling one woman who dealt with a past trauma, Deonesea La Fey found the opportunity to remind the woman that she still had a choice. The woman was able to move the fear out and eventually found inner peace.

Sensuality, Sexuality, And Tantra

Deonesea La Fey has noticed that majority of the women she tried to help didn't know how to show or identify the real essence of sensuality. That goes the same for knowing what embodies Tantra, which is commonly but incorrectly associated with sex.

“Tantra is taken out of context in our culture. It means different things to different people,” Deonesea La Fey said. “There are different styles, different schools and different lineages of Tantra.”

In fact, Deonesea La Fey incorporates some tantric practices that coordinate the breath waves with movement. Especially with women who have suffered from trauma, Deonesea La Fey usually recommends tantric massages.

Understanding Your Yoni

You would be surprised how so many women in the modern society remain uncomfortable in talking about their vagina. On the contrary, it is very much a revered topic in the Hindu culture. For the Hindus, the vagina or ‘yoni,' is a symbol of divine procreative energy.

Deonesea La Fey explains that inside a woman's vagina, there are different levels of spongy tissue. Knowing how to massage it in a certain way apparently, helps maintain our blood circulation. It also connects us to our Kundalini or our primal energy located at the base of our spine.

“Ultimately, we want our Tantric energy to be fully spread throughout our bodies, not localized and centralized in only one place. And that's where breathing properly can come in,” Deonesea La Fey said.

Generating Feminine Radiance

Ever wonder how some women seem to look beautiful all the time? There's that certain glow from within that radiates sensuality, sexuality, peace, and happiness.

“When we start generating, cultivating and living with feminine radiance, we light up. We become radiant, and that joy draws things to it,” said Deonesea La Fey.

She adds that we become a magnetic energy if we just learn to generate feminine radiance. That magnetism, in effect, brings us what we truly desire.

Exercises To Develop Feminine Radiance

In earth-based spirituality, Deonesea La Fey says we think a lot about things with regards to the elements. A women's sensuality is often considered earthy and our sacral or second chakra is essentially about working our pelvis.

Here is an essential exercise recommended by Deonesea La Fey:

1. Close your eyes and be aware of your breathing.
2. Get in touch with your belly rising on inhale and falling on exhale. Take deep breaths. Drop your attention down to your belly.
3. Take deeper breaths and breathe directly to the pelvic bone, down to your labia and yoni. Breathe into that space and imagine your perineum, bottom and yoni all make the bottom side of the bowl.
4. Imagine the bowl filling wth water and see that water slowly filling in.
5. Feel the water filling your pelvic bowl from your roots out to your hips, hip bones, and womb space. Continue to visualize until your pelvic bowl is filled with water.
6. Imagine yourself connecting your breath with water. Continue to breathe deeply.
7. Imagine using your breath to encourage water to walk up to your backside.
8. Let the water come up into your mind, across your mind and brows.
9. Allow the current of water to cross like a mist in front of your body. Let it flow naturally to your front side. Feel the nurture of this water.
10. Then allow all that water to settle down back into your pelvic bowl, then to the belly, hip bones and to the sacrum.
11. Breathe in and out. Wriggle your fingers and toes before opening your eyes.

Like anything that is new and foreign to us, it takes a while to get used to the exercise. However, Deonesea La Fey promises that the natural element of feminine energy is overwhelmingly soothing once we get used to doing this exercise.

“Our body has so much wisdom and knowledge. It has so much to offer,” said Deonesea La Fey.

Deonesea La Fey is a Queen Visionary and founder of Passion as Prayer. She is a sensuality coach, movement facilitator and Ordained Priestess who is intensely trained and experienced in sensuality and embodiment practices, ecstatic dance forms, and initiatory rites.

Deonesea La Fey supports women to release themselves from past experiences. She also helps women inhibit their eroticism so that they can find their pathways to ecstasy. Her work is based on the knowledge that our sensuality and sexuality can be a powerful source of creativity, passion, and joy.

In addition to holding her private coaching practice, Deonesea La Fey leads women’s empowerment workshops and sensuality retreats at home and abroad.

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