191: Diffusing Arguments

Diffusing Arguments Through Emotional Intelligence  

Diffusing arguments is something most of us struggle with. It's not easy keeping our emotions in check especially when we feel hurt. I have had Michael Weinberger on the show several times in the past, and I believe he's the perfect resource person to teach us the art of diffusing arguments.   

A Plan For Living  

I'm ecstatic to have Michael Weinberger once again on the show! He's the creator of this excellent app called, ‘A Plan For Living.' It aims to rekindle that spark in your life through gratitude so if you're feeling down or dealing with emotional issues, do check out this app.   

Many of us take for granted that our emotions play a significant role in our overall health. Lack of love, happiness, vitality, and connection in our life significantly affects us on a physical and mental level. Diffusing arguments become a constant struggle, and consequently, our life falls apart. That's why during times like these, we feel like a failure.  

The Power Of Reaction  

Michael Weinberger recalls this one instance he had with his employee. This particular person tended to become extremely defensive and frustrated with client behavior. Diffusing arguments between that employee and clients was both a struggle and a challenge.  

Nevertheless, Michael Weinberger helped his employee deal with his emotions.  Eventually, that employee realized that the most significant lesson he learned is that he can't control what happens to him, but instead he can control how he reacts.  

“The quality of life is based on how you react, not what happens to you. Whenever I don't know how to handle a client situation, I focus on what I can control,” said Michael Weinberger. “And that control has been learned through the practice of gratitude and spirituality.”

Realizing Your Self-Worth  

Michael Weinberger says that when we realize how many things we are grateful for, our self-worth increases.  He suggests that we must always remind ourselves to be aware of our self-worth, especially before having difficult conversations with others or diffusing arguments. Remind yourself that your self-worth is not going to be impacted by the discussion you are about to have.   

“I just have to worry about how I can control my reaction in response to situations. Because that will determine whether or not I am going to be happy for that given day,” Michael Weinberger said.

In hindsight, Michael Weinberger recalls that he used to take things personally.  He felt that his value as a human being was based on what everyone thought of him. It is a typical human reaction because people do tend to get defensive when they feel they are being attacked.  However, that response could be avoided if you keep your emotions in check.

Finding Happiness   

“Happiness, well-being or your spiritual connection is a choice. It is not something to be taken away from you,” Michael Weinberger said.

Citing an example, Michael Weinberger says he could show up to a meeting and allow someone not to agree with him.  The outcome could go both ways.  Either Michael Weinberger would end up giving others his happiness by reacting disproportionately, or he could stay in his space, and truly listen, be present and hear the words that are being said.  

Diffusing Arguments  

Diffusing arguments is never easy, but Michael Weinberger says it can be achieved. First of all, he suggests removing the noise in an argument. Be present in what the conversation is really about. Ask yourself why are you hurt by the discussion and dig deep into analyzing how the situation makes you feel. 

During an argument, merely state to the other person how you feel about the situation instead of immediately defending your position. Picking on the other person's feelings won't help resolve things either.  

“You can only control how you react to a situation. So if you react to a situation on fire, you should expect fire back. Own your side,” said Michael Weinberger. “Open an opportunity for the other person to say how he feels.”

Essentially, Michael Weinberger says that first of all, you have to become aware of the conversation you are having with yourself. Once you have achieved that, only then can you start correcting the conversation you're having with others.   

Discovering The Root Cause  

In any given situation or problem, Michael Weinberger stresses the importance of knowing the cause of your emotions. Chances are, you realize you have things that were short-circuiting your temper and they were manifesting themselves in arguments about an entirely different topic.  

Consequently, when you can take time and be grateful for what you have, it takes the edge off from arguments. Furthermore, Michael Weinberger says that with gratitude, you preserve happiness and energy that would have otherwise been wasted in the past.  

“I have learned over time that nothing happens by accident. I don't want to spend any more energy or worry in changing the past because it never served me productively,” said Michael Weinberger.

Michael Weinberger is a dynamic and inspiring speaker frequently asked to speak on topics including Mindfulness, Coping with Mental Illness and Addiction.   

He was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder in 1994 and has learned how to not only cope but to thrive while living with his illness.   

Michael teaches individuals how to adjust their mindset to be mindful and grateful for everything their life! He is the founder and creator of APlanForLiving.com, a digital mindfulness manager, and wellness platform.  

Everyone has problems, and Michael's approach helps people apply gratitude, spirituality, and mindfulness to their daily lives. A grateful heart is a happy heart!  

Get Connected with Michael Weinberger!

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Recommended Reading by Michael Weinberger

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Self

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